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(Contains: strong language)
On May 14, James came down with the fever.

He moped. He paced. He talked excessively to his tabby cat, Mr. Fluffernutter, about the weather, the lack of parking spaces at work, and the way that Chloe's hips did a sort of sexy come-hither switch beneath her A-line skirt as she walked away from him. She was always walking away from him.

And James? Well, he didn't care. He was in love. He had the fever.  It was life threatening.

For the moment, James was voluntarily couch-ridden with a fistful of darts and a mostly empty bottle of PBR.

"I dunno, Mr. Fluff. I don't think she's that kind of girl," James slurred in the direction of his cat, taking aim at the dartboard that was mounted dangerously close to his plasma television on the opposite wall .

Miss. Miss.
  
Mr. Fluffernutter meowed.

Bull's eye.

Not bad for being on the couch, James thought. And then: I hate my life.

Mr. Fluffernutter meowed again.  He understood the fever. He felt it every time the Persian next door went into heat.  

"I know. Seriously," James said.

Then, the young man set his beer down on the coffee table and dangled his hand within Mr. Fluffernutter's petting range. The tabby never actually allowed itself to be petted for any length of time.

Instead, Mr. Fluffernutter rubbed against the couch at close proximity to James's palm until the young man made a desperate grabbing motion at the cat's tail because he was too drunk and feverish to sit up and pet like a man.

"Fucking cat. I bet she'd like you."  

Luckily for James, Chloe did like Mr. Fluffernutter.

She had texted "Yes" in reply to the picture that James had sent of Mr. Fluffernutter on a throw pillow accompanied by the caption "I bet you like this fucking cat".

The fever was eating at James's brain. Fortunately, James was what most women considered to be physically attractive. So, it wasn't much of a loss.

"See? She likes you," James said, showing Chloe's reply to the cat who seemed unimpressed to the point of jumping onto the coffee table and sniffing the lip of the PBR bottle.

Moments later, there was another text: "Why did you send me a picture of a cat?"

James thought a moment. "Why the fuck not?" he sent in reply.

Three hours, several more PBRs, a litter box change, and a piss-then-sandwich break later, James received an answer.

"Are you okay?" it said.  Or something along those lines. James was starting to see two smartphones. One didn't actually exist.

James was not okay. For one, he was in love. And by now, the fever was ravaging his drunken system.  It took him a full fifty minutes to compose a reply.

It went something like this: " No.  I am not. I'm hot. I'm tingly. I'm tired. I think you're the cause with your smile and your sexy hips.  I love you for more than your paperwork and the way that you fit into your skirts. 'Charisma' may be the word that ladies use as a descriptor.  I'd like to get to know you over coffee or over a scripture reading or two. I mean in the biblical sense. Finally, my cat is a fucking cat and that is why I sent him to knead the way in unlocking the mysteries of your heart."

From that point onward, James spent the night in the bathroom vacillating between a seemingly unending wait for Chloe's return text and a seemingly unending retch into the toilet bowl. By the time blissful unconsciousness came, the fever had all but taken him.

On May 15, James awoke with a splitting headache and an empty text message inbox. He staggered through his morning routine and out the door for the commute to work.  Later, he staggered from the parking space at the other end of the lot, to the office, to the coffee maker, and eventually to his desk where he collapsed into a full-fledged hangover just in time to see Chloe's sexy come-hither hip switch.

Only this time, she was walking towards him.

She smiled and waved. He had a system meltdown and spilled coffee all over his workstation.  Chloe gasped and hip switched a little faster, suddenly armed with a cluster fuck of napkins from a coworker. They mostly ended up plastered to the keyboard.

"I'm so sorry," Chloe said to James with an apologetic napkin dab to his desk corner.

"It's fine," he said quietly to her lacy bra trim moments before she had a chance to straighten.

"Are you sure? Because I could—"

"God, woman.  I said it was fine. Keep your minxy self away from my desk."

Chloe's eyes started to fill with tears at which point James kissed her in a way that was outlined in Section E5 of the company's sexual harassment policy.  Neither cared.

"Why didn't you answer my text?" Chloe asked as James pulled away.

"I didn't get any text," he said.

"I sent it this morning."

"To who?"

"The cat. . . . Your cat."

"I don't have a cat. He died two years ago."

By now, Chloe was horrified. She pushed James away. "You sent me a text of it. On a throw pillow."

"When?"

"I don't know. Three o' clock or something."

"He's dead. I don't have a cat. Maybe you imagined it."

"I did not! You sent it with a stupid caption! I'll show you!" Chloe said, taking James's hand and leading him to her desk.

He stood there, waiting for her to find the text on her phone. It took a moment to load. And there it was. The cat-less throw pillow.

The fever had run its course.
I need to write more fiction....Surprisingly, this took only three hours to compose.

I don't want to mature content it, but I guess I have to.

EDIT: A DD! Thank you! I'm slowly working through replies giving llamas for thanks!

EDIT 2: A sequel

EDIT 3: Comic adaptation by :iconhootsweets:
EDIT 4: Reblog on Tumblr using this link.
EDIT 5: Part 1 and Part 2 of the comic adaptation are available here. 
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-03-30
The Fever by ~everystupidstar ( Suggested by xlntwtch and Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconzage987:
zage987 Featured By Owner May 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
wow. I read this and at the end I said "OOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo.........." yup. just like that
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner May 11, 2014  Professional Writer
Lolwhat. Is it a good OOOOOooo, a bad OOOOOOoooooo, or a realizatiOOOOOOOooooon?
Reply
:iconzage987:
zage987 Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
good ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Reply
:iconjenchenkid:
JenChenKid Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014
This was something I did NOT expect, but very much welcomed. My eyebrows definitely shot up at the end--it's makes you sort of wonder, but feeling slightly unsettled, maybe comforted? I'm not sure, but regardless, this was well written and well executed :) Great job! 
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you. The ending wasn't something that I expected either. It just kind of appeared and I was thinking, Well, I guess that's it.
Reply
:iconmoogirl12121:
Moogirl12121 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The ending was kind of freaky. I was not expecting that. Fever... Was it Chloe that had the fever or something? Or was this some kind of Twilight Zone thingy? Did he think he had his old cat back when he was feverish, and then sent an image with that mental thought in his head and somehow she recieved it? Somthing along those lines I think maybe. This was really cool, but weird.
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Professional Writer
If you click the little sequel link in the artist's comments, you'll see about Chloe. As for the cat, that's up to you how he came about. The text was an actual text though with a throw pillow, but not necessarily the cat. I agree the ending is weird. I didn't intend to have it end like that, but that's what happened to be on the page when I stopped writing. 
Reply
:iconmoogirl12121:
Moogirl12121 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ah. Okay~
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This starts out as a clever slice of life and ends up being something I never saw coming. Mr. Fluffernutter just started to grow on me (because cat) and then became decidedly spooky - interesting. Well done! :clap:
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you!  Even when I was writing, I had no idea what was coming.
Reply
:iconbluetigertime:
BlueTigerTime Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013  Student General Artist
I love it! Very well done! You deserve that DD!
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconcordaicor:
cordaicor Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013
An unexpected end, I liked it! Good story and thanks for sharing!
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconthecheshercat:
TheChesherCat Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconwhutplz:
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Professional Writer
:iconimhappyplz:
Reply
:iconryanisnasty:
ryanisnasty Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
Congratulations on the well deserved DD! :heart:
:huggle:
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconryanisnasty:
ryanisnasty Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
Your welcome :)
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013   Writer
:iconcongratsddplz: ... :iconclappingplz: ... :iconfireworkplz:
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Professional Writer
:hug: Thank you so much for suggesting it!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013   Writer
:iconyourewelcomesignplz:
Reply
:iconmjcherry2007:
mjcherry2007 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think you need to write more fiction too. That was quite entertaining; love it
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconashurikakko1:
AshuriKakko1 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013
This is quite mysterious and cute! A ghost cat? Huh, that's cool!!
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconheyimnatalia:
HeyImNatalia Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013
Hahaha... I lurve this XD So I'm guessing both of them had the fever, seeing as how Chloe saw the cat too? I'd like to call it the 'Love Fever', cause it brings people together- *shot*
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Yep. Something like that. :3
Reply
:iconheyimnatalia:
HeyImNatalia Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013
I getcha :)
Reply
:iconxxwithlovexx:
xXwithloveXx Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's so strange and unusual but an interesting and captivating story nonetheless, it's marvelous really.
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconxxwithlovexx:
xXwithloveXx Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!~ ^^
Reply
:iconlilake1:
lilake1 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It sort of stupefies me that I would have never read this wonderful short story if it were not for daily-deviations. Thank the heavens for those.
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconlilake1:
lilake1 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem. :)
Reply
:iconbeterli-and-bramblez:
Beterli-and-Bramblez Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist
It was cute! and... "cluster fuck of napkins"- that made me laugh.
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you! That's one of my favorite sentences.
Reply
:iconbeterli-and-bramblez:
Beterli-and-Bramblez Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist
thank you for sharing it!
Reply
:iconnothingbutjournals:
NothingButJournals Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013
.... holy.... mess. I rarely read anything here of any sort but you had me hooked by the second sentence. This was amazing.
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconnothingbutjournals:
NothingButJournals Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
x3
Reply
:iconperiwinkleimp:
periwinkleimp Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Professional General Artist
Gratz! =D I give you all my Llamas!
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Professional Writer
I return all the llamas!
Reply
:iconenemom:
Enemom Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you SO MUCH FOR THISIECE IT'S WONDERFUL!
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconenemom:
Enemom Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yep!
Reply
:iconmadamluna:
madamluna Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
eeessshhh this is kind of misogynist and gross if you ask me. really not digging the way james' creepo advances are rewarded with chloe falling right into his arms.

"Chloe's eyes started to fill with tears at which point James kissed her in a way that was outlined in Section E5 of the company's sexual harassment policy. Neither cared." oh, okay
Reply
:iconfriend-owl:
Friend-Owl Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013
I agree. Not a huge fan of that kind of thing. The story was well written, but I can say I'm not a fan of James' character
Reply
:iconxmjjmoonwalker:
xMJJMoonwalker Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is kind of funny, and also really well-written. I enjoyed reading it ^^
Reply
:iconeverystupidstar:
everystupidstar Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you!
Reply
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Submitted on
June 21, 2012
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